My 3 year running rut.

I used to be a runner.

Admittedly, my relationship with running was complex and not 100% healthy. I started in high school as a way to train for softball, but once I started to notice how it changed my body, my desire to run shifted from conditioning my cardiovascular system to burning calories.

I got competitive, joined the track team, and did pretty well. After high school, I started running races and stayed motivated by constantly training for a race.

I planned to run the Rock N Roll Marathon in Nashville in 2020 (which was cancelled, obviously) and through training I had multiple painful injuries- shin splits, an uncomfortable sciatic nerve issue, and in this bout of training I injured my hip flexor.

When that race got cancelled, I finally gave myself permission to rest and allow my body to heal. As a then Dietetics student (who also majored in Nutrition, Fitness, and Health) I knew that continuing to exercise while injured was a huge red flag, so I got curious about my relationship with running.

Through taking a long break from running, I started to crave the way it used to make me feel. This helped me appreciate running for reasons that had nothing to do with changing my body, which was a huge step in the right direction. The challenge since then has been discovering how to be a more casual runner. My life now doesn’t revolve around my workout schedule like it did when I ran consistently, and finding a routine that wasn’t rooted in constantly outdoing myself has proven to be harder than I ever imagined.

And then last Thursday night happened.

I went to my apartment gym and was on my yoga mat when I got the urge to hop on the treadmill. So, I rolled up my mat, turned on Love is Blind and just started running. I’m slower than I used to be, I get winded more quickly, so part of this is a mental game of accepting where I’m at and deciding that there’s nothing wrong with it.

I ran for 5 minutes, then decided to walk for 5. I ran for 4, then walked for 4. I ran for 3, then 2, then 1 minute and walked intermittently following that pattern. When is stepped off the treadmill after those 30 minutes went by, I had a huge smile on my face and I felt amazing. Since then I’ve been so excited to get back to the gym and on the treadmill! It just feels right.

I write all this about a topic that is seemingly so small because the takeaways are big:

▪️Give yourself grace and trust your body: I believe I couldn’t get into a consistent running routine before because that style of movement just wasn’t right for me at the time. Yoga was a way to move that connected me to my body and I needed that much more.

▪️I was learning to LISTEN to what my body was telling me, versus ignoring my bodies cues and pushing through because I thought I should be running.

▪️I needed time to disconnect movement from changing my body.

▪️I developed an identity outside of compulsive and obsessive exercise, and I found that there was so much more life to be living.

Maybe you have a complicated relationship with movement or you had a change in your fitness routine since COVID and are still trying to figure things out. Wherever you are on your path, I hope you are able to give yourself grace, take your time, and be kind in your thoughts about your body and self.

Your movement routine will likely change each time your life changes and listening to your body will always be your guiding compass back to what’s right for you.

** Note: I did warm up before this! I recommend a 5-10 minute walk or 5 sun salutation A’s and B’s.

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Love,

Chelsea🫶